My heart is decorated with freckles.

(This video is for KT, who turns 9 on 8/1. She is one of the coolest people I have ever met, and she has constellations on her face, esp in the FL summer. I adore her, and if you had 5 minutes with her, you would adore her too. She is like that.)

16 days. 16 nights. Tomorrow will be 17 days and nights -- 17 long days and nights since I have seen or heard or smelled the small people. The first week is tolerable. The second week is a downward spiral into what amounts to severe homesickness. But to start a third week, and then have that third week linger on. It is almost more than I can stand. Guerrilla-divorce is hard on the person who isn't particularly combative. But, it is beyond hard on the non-enemy non-combatants. My small people suffer, and I cannot fix it. As hard as it is for me to go almost 3 weeks without contact, it is worse for them. I can't think about it too much, because if I do, I will get sucked into an angry and vengeful place, and then I won't be much good to the small people when they do come home. And trust me, they will need A LOT of good.

Sunday is KT's 9th birthday. She wants a skateboard. She has already suffered a broken wrist and a broken arm because she is a kid who can do anything and isn't afraid to test her limits. Monkey bars at 4? Kersplat. Broken wrist. (Didn't stop her from doing them with a cast.) Rock wall at the Y? Kersplat--that one was ugly. 6 weeks in a cast. Not long after, she wants me to watch her as she is screaming down the street on her bike, one leg over the handlebar, one arm thrown about her head, face to the sky. She survived. I took a xanax.

So, this year for her birthday, she wants a skateboard. Almost everyone who I tell this to says "Oh God! Don't do it!" But I will. I will take her out and get her a skateboard (and its friends, the helmet, et al). And I will put her out on the street and let her ride. She might end up just riding up and down the street. She might end up needing to go to a skateboard park. She is a kid who can do things, and she is a girl who is fearless. I choose to enable that part of her. I choose to let her be hardcore before she knows what hardcore is. I choose to let her explore the boundaries, and to push those limits. I choose to not snuff out whatever fire she has.

KT is one of those special people that you don't run into often. She is smart and intuitive. She is, as more than one of her teachers has said, the sweetest of the sweet. She is gentle and kind and loves all living creatures. Like so many pre-teens, she wants to be a veterinarian. She takes care of her little sister in ways that I can't. She will also shove you into the wall so that she is first down the stairs. She pouts when she doesn't win, but she tries to win (any and everything) at all costs. But, she is one of the best people that I know. And I am glad that God gave her to me, because she is just so cool.