Tears

I am crying a lot lately. I don't really know why. I have a lot going on, and I have some big heartaches that are pricking me. So, I cry. I detest crying. I am the one who gets up, brushes off and walks on. It makes me nuts when I cry. And it makes me more nuts when I cry and don't have anyone to help me through it. When I was on that ledge, I learned that crying does not ever help. Feeling sorry for yourself does not help you move forward. I learned to take stock, figure out the best path and move forward. Tears get you nothing. Action gets you somewhere, to a place beyond the abyss.

I haven't recovered from my latest heart-bashing, although I really should be beyond that. I miss the hearth and home, the domestic stuff. I miss the relationship part of that relationship. I have to deal with the ex in the next few days. He scares me. And so I am crying. And I am crying alone. I hate crying.